I Promise To Help Weaken Us As A Nation By...

• making my first phone call as President to Mahmoud Abbas the leader of the Fatah party in the Palestinian territory
• by allowing an interview. The media in the U.S. have fawned all over me and never asked me the tough questions they should've been asking of a person who is going to be leading one of the most powerful countries in the world so I decided to give back....to Al Arabia television by granting them my first one-on-one interview as President.
• by halting all the military trials of detainees formerly at Guantanamo Bay even though there is proof of some of the detainees ties to 9/11.
• by closing all our CIA interrogation centers abroad. Why would we need intelligence overseas?
• letting bygones be bygones and withdrawing all charges regarding the bombing of the USS Cole and The World Trade Center. I don't want to look too tough on terrorism because there is no war on terror. I got rid of that phrase as soon as I got in office.
• doing what is important to our national interest by using up to $20.3 million dollars of our Emergency Refugee and Migration Assistance Fund for Palestinian migration needs. Oh, do some of them have ties and loyalties to Hamas? Oopsy.